You’ve got more #$@% mail!

Those of you who have been online long enough may remember when getting email was an exciting event.

We all loved hearing that bossy little AOL voice telling us that we got mail.  Our pulse would quicken and we would race to our email inbox to see what technological treasures awaited us.  And even though most of us were still paying by the minute, we never wanted to log off our super speedy 56k dial-up modem connection because we didn’t want to risk missing out on our next email message.

Yes, perhaps we were young and a bit naive as we were opening up our forty-third email asking us to help our rich Nigerian friend transfer money to his bank account, but at the same time we were excited to be a part of this new technology.  We were on the cutting edge and we scoffed at our old-fashioned friends who were still licking stamps and using old-fashioned “snail mail”.

Even today, most of us still respond to the email “ding” like some deranged Pavlovian dog hoping that this time we’ll receive some email that actually isn’t an advertisement for diet pills and male enhancement.

Introducing the Email Inbox from hell!

These days, however, it seems that everyone and their brother-in-law wants your email address.  It doesn’t matter whether it’s a website, Taco Bell, or the local gas station — everyone wants you to sign up for their email mailing list (yes, even us).

So when did all this happen?  When did everyone suddenly need your email address before they can ring up your hand towels at Bed, Bath, & Beyond — And why do they all give you that look as if you are some kind of Luddite Hobbit when you tell them that you’d rather not share it with them?

Enough!

I say it’s time that we rise up and revolt against stupid email ads and useless 5% off coupons.  I say enough of your pointless surveys, enough of your colorful coupons that cost $15 in ink for my printer to print out, and don’t even get me started on the dozens of #@$! loyalty cards that are currently jammed into my wallet.

It’s gotten so bad that I’ve actually set up additional email addresses just for this sort of thing, hoping to somehow separate some of this gratuitous marketing crap from all of the other useless email crap that I was already receiving — but this turned out to be pointless as well. In the end, it didn’t actually cut down on the number of messages I received, it just sorted them into various smaller containers that I still had to deal with.  Even after all that, I would still find myself sorting them out, creating pointless folders, and deleting email messages for what sometimes seemed like hours on end.

So now what?

I’ve already talked about in an earlier article about how I’ve had to schedule a Twitter and Facebook-Free sabbatical from time to time just to maintain what little sanity I have left.  So what about taking email free days on a regular basis? What if we could actually take a break from email and then come back to it later?

Egads, was this even possible?!?

I have to admit that I felt a little uneasy even talking about it at first.

Taming the Email Beast!

All of this actually evolved from one of the problems that I ran into early on with my Twitter and Facebook-free days experiment.  It was the fact that even when I wasn’t actually visiting these sites, I was still checking my email on those days and whenever I received an email about someone mentioning us on Twitter or our Facebook page I felt compelled to respond to it.  After all, what kind of thoughtless bastard doesn’t respond to being tagged on Facebook?!

So of course I would tell myself that I would just log on for a moment to respond or to follow back a new follower.  The problem of course, is that once you open the time sucking Pandora box that is Twitter and Facebook, you are hooked.

This clearly wasn’t working so I figured if I was really going to do this, I had two options.  I could either turn off the email notifications for all of these social networking sites, or I could simply not check my email at all during these “off” days.  Well being the control freak perfectionist that I am, I knew that turning off the email notifications wasn’t really an option so I finally came to the sad conclusion that the only way this was actually going to work, was for me to turn off my internet connection all together when I was writing.

There is no such thing as an Emergency Email!

What I’ve discovered is that it actually is possible once you accept the fact that there is no such thing as an emergency email (at least not in my world) — Let’s face it, if there’s ever a real emergency, you better get me on the phone because I’m never going to find your desperate emailed plea for help buried between the Barnes & Noble newsletters and the countless Chipotle coupons that litter my inbox.

Now I realize that the thought of email free days are perhaps a little hardcore for some and to each their own but even on the days that I do check my email now, I do it completely different.

Quick quiz: What’s the first thing you do in the morning when you turn on your computer?

You check your email right?

Me to…. or at least I used to

What would happen is that I would open my email first thing in the morning, try to sort through all of the flotsam and jetsam floating around in my inbox, and look for things that really mattered. I would skim, and open, and delete, and skim, and open, and then delete some more

Before I knew it, it was often lunchtime and all I had accomplished so far that day was to tidy up my email inbox.

That’s when it dawned on me.  It doesn’t have to be tidied up.  I don’t have to meticulously go through each and every message and either put it into it’s little folder or delete it to keep those messages from piling up in hopes of someday getting down to that mythical “inbox zero”

Screw it!

I decided that my day of email liberation had come!

Since I’ve been experimenting with this over the last six months, I’ve discovered that I can now sort through my email inbox in less than 5 minutes a day because all I’m doing is scanning for those few messages that actually need a response.  I’m not wasting any more of my life sorting, organizing, or even deleting the rest of them. They can just sit there with their glowing little “unread” icons until I’m ready to deal with them.

Now I have to warn you that this isn’t for the faint of heart.  This is hardcore my friend.  This is only a last resort for those of you who are sick and tired of spending countless hours of your day sorting through piles of spam and useless crap in order to get to the one or two messages that might mean something to you.

So for what it’s worth, here it is. . .

7 Steps to Freeing Yourself from the Email Inbox Beast:

1.) Create one place for email beast to live

Just like any other wild beast if you don’t properly cage it, you can expect it to eventually attack you

The first step is to get your email off your cell phone and only access it from your computer.  Don’t worry, if there’s ever an actual emergency, your family and friends can text you, or believe it or not, make a phone call and speak with you directly.

2.) Stop giving out your email address to stores or anyone else you don’t really care to hear from

This includes both Radio Shack, Olive Garden, and crazy Uncle Charlie who insists on forwarding every joke and piece of internet humor that crosses his desk. (Note: this does not include any websites that starts with “Skinny” and ends in “Artist”)

3.) Only open your email program once a day (preferably in the evening)

This is one of the few idea from those time management gurus called “time batching” that I actually find useful.  Instead of starting your day off trying to sort through your daily pile of spam or pecking at it periodically throughout the day like some neurotic chicken,  you simply check it once per day (usually in the evening or after lunch when you would usually be checking your Facebook page anyway).

4.) Quickly scan your messages and only open the ones that you need (or want) to respond to

Just scan, click, and respond.  Do not go back to open or delete the rest of your messages because that will just suck up more of your precious time

5.) Let the unopened messages pile up and wear them like a badge of honor

You have to realize going into this that the unread emails will keep piling up in your inbox so brace yourself!

Looking at this actual screenshot of my email inbox at the moment you can see that I currently have 11,732 unopened emails.

Holy crap! Did he just say that he had 11,732 unread messages? . . . why yes, yes he did.

Now before you pass out or pass judgment on me for being a bad person, you have to realize that I have already sorted out and responded to the .005% of these messages that actually required my attention — the rest I allow to live peacefully on the Google servers completely unaware that their day of reckoning and mass extinction will soon come.

In fact you can even proclaim your email independence with the Twitter hashtag #InboxInfinity and let the rest of us know how many unread email messages you are up to!

6.) Mass extinction day

Once every six months (or even once a year if you’re really hardcore) spend an evening killing useless email

This can be a joyful celebration (usually includes a drink or two)  It turns out that sorting through spam and useless 5% off store coupons is great for resolving any built-up technological anger issues.

Go through each email box one by one, starting with the one with the most unread messages and then just start deleting.  I’ll usually scan through them quickly just to see if I missed anything important (without opening them of course) and then it’s just delete, delete, delete — Bwahahahahaha!

This might also be a good time to unsubscribe to anything that has invaded your email inbox or outlived its welcome

7.) Rinse, Repeat, and Revel in your email independence (viva la revolution!)

Take a moment to bask in your rebel glory.

How do you keep your email inbox from taking over your life?

• How do you manage to keep up with all of your email?
• How many email addresses do you have?
• How many times a day do you check your email?

Here are some other articles you might enjoy:

1. Turn Off Facebook, Tune Out Twitter, and Rediscover Your Life
2. The Goal of Nothing & the Art of Letting Go

Don’t worry, this is not some boo-hoo my life sucks kind of thing.

This is not about regret. 

This is not about looking back and wishing that I would have done things differently in the past because I do believe that every experience both good and not-so-good has an important lesson to share as long as we’re willing to listen (and not constantly repeat them).

Now having said that, there are still quite a few days that I would love to hop into my Delorean time machine and smack around my younger self a bit for acting like such an idiot.

I thought I would take this opportunity to start organizing my thoughts so when that day finally comes I’ll be ready. . .

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15 things I wish I would have known back when I knew it all:

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1.) Who you were in high school is not necessarily who you will become

Back in high school everyone was assigned a role to play.  We were either brainy kids, art freaks, dumb jocks, band geeks, drama weirdos, goths, preppies, burnouts, or whatever other label they wanted to assign us.  For whatever reason the adolescent mind likes to create divisions and exclusive cliques so we can feel misunderstood and it’s us against the world.

Once we leave the self-contained fishbowl of high school, however, we discover that the roles we were previously assigned is not necessarily who we actually are. The hierarchy that we have lived under for so long suddenly collapses and we are set adrift.  The sooner you stop looking to define yourself, the sooner you will have the opportunity to discover who you really are.  Resist labels.  Resist pigeon-holing yourself into your comfortable little niche. Expand your yourself and your friendships. Never miss the opportunity to really connect with someone new even if they may appear to be outside your social circle.

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2.) Sooner or later you’re going to have to stop eating crap

I know that right now you can eat that giant Chipotle burrito after school and wash it all down with a pint of Ben & Jerrys, but eventually eating all of that stuff going to catch up with you.  Right now maybe you’re still growing, maybe you’re involved sports, or maybe you’re just lucky enough to have the metabolism of a racehorse but trust me this is all going to change soon.  Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day you are going to wake up and and face the fact that you can’t continue blaming the dryer for shrinking all of your clothes.

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3.) Your job is not your identity

Your job will come and go, but it’s not who you are.  When people ask what you do, it’s not the same thing as who you are are, or perhaps more importantly, who you want to become. You need to make a focused effort to find your passion and your reason for getting up in the morning. It’s not about earning a paycheck or being able to pay your cell phone bill every month.  It’s about finding out what gets you fired up.  It’s about finding your unique niche and your place in the bigger picture. Having a job may provide you with the money to pursue your passion, but a job is simply a temporary situation until you can find a way to make money by doing what you love. But first you have to find out where you passion lies.

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4.) Stop wasting your time playing  xBox and watching hours of YouTube

When I was growing up it was the Nintendo 64 and bad cable television, now it’s Playstation 3 and Hulu but the result is the same.  Time is precious and trust me, all that free time that you have now to fritter away staring at the screen you’re going to desperately want back someday.  Start and explore your passions now while you still have the time to make mistakes and reorganize.  Someday when you finally get married and have kids, you’re going to be kicking yourself for not making better use of your time.

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5.) The people you meet are more important than the things you do

Everything good that happens in your life will be the direct result of people you have connected with along the way.  Accomplishments are great, but it’s the relationships that you make along the way that will ultimately determine your level of happiness. You’ll discover that it’s the people you know who will get you that next job or that big break, and not what you know or the things you’ve done.  Remember to nuture your relationships both old and new.  Don’t wait until you need something from your friends. Always be the first and last to give something to the friendship even if it’s nothing more than a smile or a simple word of encouragement.

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6.) No matter how busy you think you are, don’t forget to follow your passion

Find your passion, and then make the time to pursue what you love to do. It doesn’t matter if you can dedicate eight hours a day or fifteen minutes a day to following your passion and creating your dreams.  What’s important is that it’s a part of your daily life. Focus on what really matters to you.  Do something to feed your creative soul every day. Don’t live your life on auto-pilot.  Get out there and push yourself a little further each day.

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7.) You will not meet the love of your life in a bar

Love will find you when it finds you.  It’s an irony of life that those who go out looking for love will never find it.  The more you try to pursue love, the more it will continue to elude you.  Nothing scares off potential mates like the putrid scent of desperation.

Instead of spending your time and what little money you have hitting the clubs, spend some time working on yourself so that when you finally meet this special person you’ll actually have something to offer them.

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8.) Take some time to reflect on where you are and where you want to go

Right now you are so busy that it seems absurd to even think about slowing down.  However, unless you’re being chased by a bear, blindly running around as fast as you can is only going to make you tired.  Don’t worry about what your parents or your friends expect you to be. Find out what’s really important to you and make sure that you are heading in that direction. You also have to realize that your priorities will change, and what may be important to you at 18 will probably not be the same things that are important to you at 35. Always be willing to readjust your course if necessary.  Life rarely turns out the way we expect it to.

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9.) Learn about managing money from someone who’s not trying to sell you something

Get a credit card to establish a credit record but leave it at home and lock it away somewhere far, far away from the computer.  If I could offer you just one piece of advice on using a credit card, it would be to never buy something that you can wear, eat, or drink.

Start saving for your retirement now even if you don’t think that you can.  Set up automatic withdraws into your retirement accounts because you are never going to feel like you have enough money to start saving. Don’t wait until you get a “real” job, get married, or when you have kids.  Believe it or not, you’re going to have even less money then.  Save something.  Start now.

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10.) Insure you crap

Unfortunately, we live in a society where people and their blood-sucking lawyers can take not only all the money you have, but also all of the money that you may earn in the future as well.  Shit happens. Be prepared.

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11.) Learn to play an instrument

Any instrument.  It doesn’t matter if it’s the guitar, the piano, the cello, or the kazoo — learn to play an instrument and then practice at it regularly.  There’s nothing quite like the instant feedback and satisfaction of creating music.  Even it’s just noise.  Play your music.  Sing your song. You are the only one who can.

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12.) Stay away from Jägermeister

Don’t be seduced by it’s lovely green bottle, exotic name, or idiotic friends who may try to convince you that it’s not the devil’s own juice.  Seriously. . . Worst. Night. Ever.

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12 1/2.) Never rent a wet-and-dry vac from a grocery store located next to college apartments.

Trust me, you don’t want to know.

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13.) Don’t join a gym

I know that right now you may think that you’ll go every day, work out for three hours, and not be the lazy coach slug that you are. . . but you won’t.  Trust me, the only thing that’s going to happen is that you’ll end up hating yourself even more when you’re sitting there writing out the check every month. In fact don’t buy any exercise device you see on TV or online.  If you really feel like you want to get back into shape, put on your shoes and run a lap around the block and the feeling will soon pass.

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14.) You are far more likely to regret the things that you haven’t done than the things you have done

Experiment. Get outside your comfort zone.  Don’t allow yourself to get stuck into a rut.  Keep the wheels moving and try to do something new every day.  It doesn’t have to be something big and dramatic, it just has to challenge you in a new way.  You don’t need to bungee jump or go skydiving.  You can simply read a book, take a class, explore your neighborhood, or talk to someone you’ve never met. Make a point to expand yourself in some small way ever day.

Having said that, I would still avoid Jägermeister at all costs!

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15.) Chances are you’re going to ignore all of this and do whatever the hell you want to do anyway

Even if you’re sitting there nodding your head in agreement, let’s face it, five minutes from now you’re probably going to be back on Facebook talking about who said what to who, and why that person is such a you-know-what.  I don’t blame you.  I’ve been there.  In fact, I’m probably still there.  After all, I’m the one who ignored every piece of good advice I received for the first thirty years of my life.  So I’m not about to sit here and point the finger at someone else. . .

But just in case I do get the chance to go back in time, I’ve already packed a backpack with this list, ten feet of rope, and a fifth of Jägermeister. . .

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Would you like to smack around your younger self?

What if I let you borrow the keys to the Delorean for the day. . .

• What would you like to go back and say to your younger self?
• What would you do differently and what wouldn’t you change even if you could?
• What’s the best and worst piece of advice on life that you ever received?

You are not alone!

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We are all broken and trying to heal as we find our place in this world

We are all searching for meaning

We are all searching for acceptance

We are all searching for someone who cares

We fall down at times and reach out for a hand to help us up

The support of our friends are written all over our lives

We become shaped by them

We give up control

But we never give up hope

Reach out your hand

I will not let you fall

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Here are some other articles you might enjoy:

1. How to Create (and destroy) your Reputation Online as an Artist!

“But you’re a writer, you’re not an artist!”

(insert mildly derisive tone here)

I hear this from people all the time when I tell them that I help run a website called “Skinny Artist”, and then reveal that I am a writer and not a visual artist.  To many people (mostly non-artists) it seems almost blasphemous that I would have the audacity to lump myself into this “Artist” category.

After all, writers think of themselves as writers, musicians think of themselves as musicians, and photographers think of themselves as photographers.  Even among the so-called visual artists — painters generally think of themselves as painters, illustrators are illustrators, and crafters are. . . well most crafters are just plain crazy .  My point here is that no matter what we do, none of us really seem to think of ourselves as a true “Artist”.

So what’s the big deal?!

This may seem like a ridiculous topic for a post, but there’s a reason that we didn’t call this site Skinny Writer (although we could have).  In the end it just seemed so limited. I mean why would we want to exclude visual artists, composers, photographers, and musicians from our little community?  Sure some of the specific gallery sites differ from one art form to the next, but the overall theme of branding and selling yourself as a working artist is essentially the same.  

• How do I build an online presence?
• How do I meet and connect to other artists?
• How do I setup an effective website or blog?
• What’s the best place to sell my work online?
• How can I use YouTube to get people to know who I am?
• What can I  get my work noticed online?
• How do other artists get through creative droughts?
• How do I use Twitter, Facebook, and gallery forums to build my identity?
• How can I be more productive and get more done as an artist?
• What tools or techniques should I use to display and sell my art?

The more we talked with different kinds of artists, the more we discovered that these questions applied to any type of creative artist whether they are a painter, photographer, musician, or yes, even a writer.  Besides, SkinnyCreativeProfessionals.com just didn’t have the same ring to it.

Why are we afraid of the word “Artist”?

Why do we insist on calling ourselves writers, artists, photographers, musicians, etc.. Is it the fact that we are really that intent on defining ourselves, or is it the fact that we are afraid to call ourselves “Artists”?

If you think this is completely ridiculous, take a moment and say the following sentence out loud a few times and see what you feel:

“I am an Artist.”

How does saying this make you feel? Do you feel confident and worthy of this title, or do you hear that little voice inside of you saying “Yeah right, dream on”?

If you’re like most of the artists we’ve talked to, I would guess that you’re probably a lot closer to that second answer than the first.  It seems that most of us tend to shy away from the “Artist” tag because we just don’t feel worthy of it.  True artists are people like Picasso, Clapton, Leibovitz, Lennon, Hemmingway, and Versace.  In  comparison, we feel more like wannabe artists.  So instead we end up calling ourselves “Creatives” a word that carries far less emotional baggage and responsibility.

This is a shame because in reality we are all “Artists” because we share that indescribable urge to create something that is completely unnecessary from a practical standpoint.  It doesn’t matter if we are creating books, pictures, poems, fashion, drawings, or necklaces; something inside of us demands to create and be heard. This is remarkable because we would much rather struggle to pay the rent every month and create our art, than live a comfortable middle-class existence working 9-5 as a corporate drone.

So what’s your point here, writer man?

My point is that we started Skinny Artist to create a community not just for writers or painters or musicians or photographers or crafters or whatever else it is that you do — Instead we wanted a site where all “Artists” could come together, share their ideas, and figure out how we can eventually live our art without all of the ramen noodles or smelly roommates.

In order to do that, however, we need you to become an active member of our community.  We need to hear about your successes, your failures, and the lessons you learned along the way.  We want you to use the comment section to share your thoughts, ask questions, tell a story, or simply to say hello to your fellow artists.

Keep in mind that none of us are experts here and we’re all just figuring this out as we go along, so please don’t ever be afraid to share your thoughts. I mean I think it’s pretty obvious by now that I don’t have all the answers.  In fact, I’m just here to fill the dead-air until enough of you get sick of hearing me talk and start taking over the site.

The choice is yours. . .

Photo courtesy of Mattox

Here are some other articles you might enjoy:

1. 5 Fears that can Destroy an Artist

However you found us, we’re glad you’re here!

Skinny Artist is a website dedicated to giving struggling artists all of the tools and resources necessary to market their work successfully.  Skinny artist was created by artists for artists.  We are writers, photographers, painters, poets, graphic artists, potters, singers, composers, musicians, jewelry designers, cartoonists, entertainers, and practically anyone else who wants to market their creativity locally or online to a world-wide audience.

Even though we may not all be experts yet, we believe that together we’ll be able to use this website to pool our resources, ideas, and experiences (both good and bad) to create a community dedicated to both living, and making our living from our art.

Whatever your passion, you are welcome to join us and help us build this global marketing community for artists.  We hope that you’ll not only stop by often, but will also join in on the conversation. Working together, we proclaim that there will be no more starving or skinny artists! (unless of course that’s your thing, then that’s cool too).  We’re obviously just getting things started here and we’ll be adding a ton of useful info and resources in the coming months, so bookmark us now and don’t forget to stop back soon. . .

Viva la revolution!